


Tardiness

by hlessirah



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: A New Intern, A phone call from carlos, Bad Things Happen To Cecil, Carlos is a Good Boyfriend, Gen, M/M, Podfic Welcome, Screenplay/Script Format, Strexcorp, transcript, where is cecil?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 19:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1440805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hlessirah/pseuds/hlessirah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Cecil is late to work, a new intern needs to fill in.<br/>Plus, the traffic report, the community calendar, and commentary from a new voice of Night Vale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tardiness

**Author's Note:**

> This episode takes place after the events of Episode 43: Visitor, as well as the live episode Condos, and may possibly contain spoilers.  
> Enjoy!

Their moon was cardboard, fragile. 

It was very apt to fray. 

And what was last night's scenic,

Is still the work of aggressive government propaganda, to be avoided at all costs.

Welcome to Night Vale.

\---

Good evening, Listeners.

This is Intern Bekah, filling in for Cecil, who has...not shown up yet today. Now, I don't want all you loyal Listeners thinking that our Cecil is the type who would just abandon his duties. Every single day, he is here early, at the station, making sure the broadcasting equipment is properly fed and watered, refreshing the coffee in the break room, and preparing his notes for the upcoming show.  
But today… He was not here at his usual time. We waited, and waited, but there was no word from Cecil. Five minutes ago, a scrap of slightly singed parchment appeared from under the Station Management office door instructing me to fill in, so…  
Here I am.

I don't know much, but I do know that Cecil is a professional, and he takes his duties as a community radio host very seriously, so I'm sure he will be back any minute now. In the meantime, I know I am just an intern, but I will do my very best to fill in and make sure you are kept up to date on everything you need to know.  
Let's see… 

\---

The Greater Night Vale Commerce Department has asked us to remind our listeners that due to increased reports of property damage, psychological damage, and organ damage, the recall notice issued last week is still in full effect. It has not yet been released exactly which product is being recalled, but I'm sure we will all figure it out eventually. We always do!

\---

And now, Traffic.  
You walk down the sidewalk, wandering in the hot sunlight. After a few minutes, you come across a great flock of birds. At the sound of your footsteps, they take notice. With a great flapping sound, the birds soar upwards, rising, as if one great being, into the air, their collective form twisting, changing shape and direction until they fix on a new destination, and vanish from sight.

You continue on. You pass by a lake. The water ripples where, just below the surface, fish are swimming lazily, searching for nourishment from above. On a passing whim, you bend over to pluck a rock from the ground and toss it into the water. At once, all the fish swim, faster than the eye can follow, downwards, into the murky depths, to the assumed safety the dark crevices must provide.

You watch, amazed. What a wonder it is, the natural grace of these creatures. How is it, that these animals, with brains no bigger than spools of thread, can manage such amazing maneuvers? They cannot comprehend language, nor solve complex problems.  
Yet when they move, do they crash? Do they get stuck and cause delays and accidents? 

Aren't you smarter than fish? Than birds?  
They don't have to listen to traffic reports! Why do YOU??? What's wrong with you, anyway? Wow. Just… WOW.

This has been traffic.

\---

Well, we got a call during the break from none other than Carlos, noted scientist, possessor of very enviable hair, and a good friend of the station. Listeners, he seems… Alarmed.

"Hello, Carlos! How are things?" I tried to ask, but he interrupted.

"Bekah, what is happening? Why are you doing the show? Where is Cecil?" He asked. 

I explained to him that I didn't know. "He isn't with you?" I asked, but he said no, that Cecil had left their home as usual this morning to visit Koshekh at the vet before work, but when Carlos visited the building to bring Cecil his lunch, he found that Cecil… Had never arrived. Carlos, as wonderfully sweet and clever as ever, has since dispatched his team of scientists all over town with tracking equipment, but to no avail.

Listeners, I know this is a community broadcast, and not the place for personal commentary, but I can't help but tell you this. I have always loved listening to radio ever since I was a little girl, and I dreamed of having a radio show of my own someday. I'll admit, then, that when the instructions came for me to fill in, I felt a small thrill. Finally, a chance to do more, to live my dream. But I no longer feel thrilled. I feel guilty. What is the point of achieving a dream if it only comes from someone else's misfortune?  
I'm uneasy. I would gladly relinquish this microphone just to know if Cecil is safe. Cecil? Where are you?

More on this story, I hope, as it develops.

\---

Here it is, the community calendar.

Saturday will be the twenty-third annual Imaginary Corn Festival, featuring music, games, and food trucks selling plenty of fresh delicious Imaginary Corn. The event will take place as usual at the farmhouse of John Peters, y'know, the farmer? Even though he vanished months ago, the Night Vale Tourism Board assures us that it's "still okay" and "it's probably not technically trespassing anyway".

Sunday evening's mayoral debate has been postponed, due to the venue's apparent flammability. A new location and time will be announced later this week.

On Wednesday, there will be a dollar book sale at the Night Vale Public Library. Many books, including bestsellers and literary prizewinners, all municipally-approved and in excellent condition, will be available for bargain prices. The librarians have added that the book carts are not booby-trapped this time. At least, they amended, the traps are not quite as deadly as last year.

Friday, is fast approaching. They warned us… They warned us about Friday, and its dire consequences, but did we listen? No, but we'll wish we had.

This has been, the Community Calendar.

\---

This program is brought to you by our sponsor, Motel 6.

Motel 6: We’ll keep the light on for you.  
Motel 6: The light is beckoning. Why resist?  
Motel 6: Like moths to a flame, relinquish control and come to the light. It’s easier this way, isn’t it?  
Motel 6: The light. It’s so warm. It loves you. We love you.  
Motel 6: We’ll keep the light on for you!

\---

Okay, I'll admit it.  
I'm getting worried.

I tried asking our Strexcorp supervisors, Lauren and Daniel, what the protocol regarding missing employees is, and they just looked at each other, smiled wider than I had ever thought possible, and told me that such things were not my concern.  
That is, they shouldn't be. Not if I was a good intern.

"Are you a good intern, Bekah?" They asked in unison, over and over, in the exact same inflection, until I left to return to this studio.

And here I sit, reading from these pages, waiting for Cecil to return, and I'm not sure if- Hold on, I just got a text… How did Carlos get my cell number? It says… "Near edge of town. Think I hear something. Will investigate."

What do you think, listeners? The edge of town is usually so dangerous. Doesn't Carlos know that? If Cecil is there, I can't imagine... Is Cecil in trouble? I… well… what should I do? What… can I do? I'm just an intern. Powerless. Unimportant. I wasn't trained for this. What would Cecil do? What would he tell me? 

Maybe all I can do is sit. And wait. And hope.  
And take you to…  
The Weather. 

\---

Listeners! Cecil is back! He's back!

Carlos just came in, his usually pristine lab coat in tatters, marred by possible blood stains, holding tight to Cecil in his arms. I tried to ask what had happened, but all I could understand of Carlos' reply was a quiet mumbling and the words "mine shaft". He laid Cecil on the small couch here in the corner of the studio, said I needed to "keep him safe" and promised to return soon.

Cecil… does not look quite right. He does not appear to be injured. All he seems to be able to do is stare blankly ahead, and whenever I try to ask him a question, he just replies "Believe in a smiling god," in a monotone completely unlike his usual voice. I can see Daniel and Lauren outside the studio window. They are smiling at us, but their eyes… Do not look pleased.

I have locked the door. Why, I don't know exactly. It just feels right. I do not know what happened out there. I do not know if I was right to stay in the booth tonight or if I really am just a cowardly and meaningless intern. Maybe all I can do now is focus on what I can do, and what I know. I know that Cecil needs his rest, that I must take care of him, and because he cannot, I must finish the show.

Dear Listeners, thank you for allowing me to keep you company tonight. It has been an honor, but I must leave you for now. Until next time, stay safe. It's dangerous out there.

Stay tuned for the endless background hum you always mistake for silence.

Good night, Night Vale.  
Good night.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally intended to be recorded as a fanmade episode. Sadly, my voice is not radio-worthy, but if any podfic people with a better voice than me would like to help record this, let me know! It'd be neat!


End file.
